Chapter 9
New Year's has passed, and he seems to be in better spirits. He powdered me again and tried to put the insert into me. He got it in on the second attempt. I was starting to get excited, but managed to keep it under some control (our record isn't exactly stellar, you know). At least, I think he got it in. His expression was a little too neutral. Maybe he didn't get it in all the way. He fiddled with it for about half an hour and seemed a bit more satisfied with its appearance. He then dressed me in my white romper, sans panties this time, and tucked me in bed. I really started to get excited... maybe tonight?
Again, it was not to be. When he came to bed, he just fondled me, a bit more than usual, and hugged me close until he fell asleep. Should I be worried? Is it something about me? The same old questions popped up. I know he had told me that it wasn't me. But was he just trying not to hurt my feelings? Granted, I am just a doll, and dolls don't have feelings, so why would he be concerned about something like that? He is a very confusing human. I may never understand what he means by "I'm easy... not cheap". I think he may have some issues to deal with.
The next morning, he seemed to sense my anxiety, and reassured me that the old questions were just that, had already been answered, and that the answers were unchanged. Okay... so what it is, then? His response was simple and direct; "I'm not ready yet". Not ready yet? I've been here almost five months, you've taken almost two hundred pictures of me, and we've, actively, slept together all of three times, none of which went any further. What are you... a rock? "No, I am not a rock." He said, "It's a matter of perception." He would say no more on that subject.
Well! I guess that put me in my place. What's a doll to do? What can a doll do? Then he hugged me and thanked me for being here. I think that is when it really dawned on me; he really was comforted by my presence, that my being here truly did make him feel less lonely. I guess the mere fact that I am available any time allows him the freedom to pursue that activity, as he desires. So, I will remain content to be his comfort. I will be patient, because, one of these days, I will get to show him what I can be for him. I can see it in his eyes... hear it in his thoughts.
